Asuka
by SergeantFrog
Summary: The story of how a girl changed Shinji's life forever. Romance, drama, comedy, tragedy, not all stories end happily ever after, will this one?
1. Chapter 1- Prologue

Asuka died today. Or was it yesterday. I do not know. I do not feel hunger nor t hirst, yet my stomach is weak, there is not a single tear running down my face b ut yet I have never been more sad. This sick feeling is depressing, it makes my arms limp and the rest of my body weak . I let nature's sound run wildly in thro ugh my ears. I hear a strong rush of wat er to my left, I must be close to a rive r , maybe a waterfall. I try, but can no t manage to turn by body towards the dir ection of the flowing water. Why is my b ody so stiff? This sick feeling is truly the worst. Maybe that's why I find myse lf staring at the sky. The birds freely soar the skies, a faint array of puffy w hite clouds can be seen over-shadowing t he ocean, and the sun shines away at the surface. It looks much more calm up the re than down here. Is this scenery a way to suppress my current state?

People look up at the sky and clouds for a temporary sigh of relief right? To le t their minds ease off from whatever's b een bothering them for that day. Heh, wh o am I kidding, maybe they just want to know what the weather is like. Weird, I felt as if I had made a slight smile, no , more like a grin. Come on Shinji, get a hold of yourself. Smiling at your own jokes is not you. What is going on?

I struggle to move my body towards the r iver again, but only succeed in tilting my head. I was right; I sit by the bank of a river, splashing and hurdling, the river's white-water rushes furiously tow ards it's end; a waterfall. There is muc h more movement down here than up in the sky. My mind has become much more activ e. My thoughts run wild. This water, why is it in such a hurry to end? Damn it S hinji, you know water doesn't have a tra in of thought. Stop thinking about what the water is doing and think about what you are doing? Yes, what am I doing? Oh right, now I remember. I look down at my lap. There lays Asuka. Her face and min e connect. Her beautiful blue eyes gazin g at my own, indicating a sign of life. But no, she is not alive. I killed her.


	2. Chapter 2- Misato's Smile

**Cynical. Was that it? Yes. That was it. That was the word Misato used. She could not deal with me anymore. She would not. While eating breakfast this morning she sat across the table from me and said, "Shinji, I think it is best if we only saw each other at Nerv. I've arranged you to stay at an apartment closer to your school. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. It is what's best for both us." There was a short pause. She was expecting some reaction from me. But nothing. I did not say anything nor did I look at her, my head was just stumped to the tile floor. She stood up, handed me the keys to the apartment, lowered her head towards mine and quietly spoke in the most melancholic voice, "I'm sorry I failed you Shinji, your cynical mind leaves no room for us to interact and enjoy each other." She straightened herself out, turned towards the door and paused for a good ten seconds, we were side by side; I still didn't know what she wanted me to say. Seeing how I remained silent, she waited no more and left. But before she walked out the door, I glanced over and saw her wipe a tear off her face. I'm sorry Misato.**

**It's wasn't her fault. She gave me a chance. Actually, she gave me many chances; gave me some space, time to think to myself; she then proceeded to get closer to me; but I would not budge. I could not let her get close to me. No. Not her, not anyone. She didn't really care right? She was alone after all, before I barged into her life. She was desperate for normal human contact, any human, to come into her life and distract her from her stressful time at Nerv. She could not have expected her work to come knock at her front door. That look on her face when she first saw me outside her apartment door was no surprise. Still, she somehow turned that blank stare into a genuine smile and welcomed me in. That smile, I will never forget, Misato.**

_**(arrives at the school gates, stops and looks at the school, students pass by him)**_

**School. I was required to attend. Misato told me that it would help me socialize, brighten my life a bit. The way I see it, it has only shown me the faces of the people I'm protecting, and those that I have failed. Each day a student does not come to school or someone is sadden, I come to the conclusion that I have caused it somehow. I either did not respond fast enough, I had collapsed a building in which someone was still inside or debri had fallen on someone while hiding inside the bunkers. As the pilot for Eva 01, it was my duty to protect Earth from the Angels; I just never asked to be a pilot. All I wanted to do with my life was...was...Who am I kidding, my life has never been moving forward. Being a pilot of Eva 01 is a step back. Things are only going to get worse from now on.**

**(Shinji gets bumped by a red headed girl running towards the school)**

**(After being surprised by the girl who he has never seen before at school, Shinji too starts running, class is almost starting)**


End file.
